Posts Tagged ‘self-awareness’

By Jamaica Ferrer

I don’t know if my existence is worth living for. I’ve already tasted the agony of life, but why it won’t stop? Can’t you let me taste just for awhile the ambrosia of life? Why it had to be like this? Ceaseless pain! Though I don’t want to, it will always nurtured by me. Every night I couldn’t sleep. My heart is already wasted. Every drop of my tear counts, leaving a fathomless ocean. I wish I was never be me.

Ever since I was a child, I wanted to have a fairy God mother just like in fairy tales, a few waves of their wands anything is possible. Then I could wish to be somebody else. But if I were not me, who am I gonna be? Of course, fairy God mothers are worthy; they would never let me down. I am thinking I will have a better life if I were not me. I’ll be a legitimate child who has a beautiful and complete family. I could earn the 5A’s that everyone wanted to have; the acceptance, appreciation, approval, affirmation and affection. Unlike in reality, I am still craving for it.

But if I were not me, then I would never know the people I love most in my entire life. This fact made my eyes leak. Seriously, I suppose I must say, I love who I am coz I am what I am. And I am very glad and thankful for that. I am very grateful in every enigmatic dilemma I encounter; being vulnerable, because I struggle hard to win the fight and in return I am growing stronger and stronger.

So if you’re thinking of being somebody else’s life, you should not. If I were you I would stick to my real self and would just change my immoral standpoints in life to be a better person, to have a better life. And would just be thankful to the most powerful and king of all king’s, our Lord God who created me as me.

I-BS HM-B